Question
You had mentioned in one of your answers that you have a
beautiful girlfriend that helps take care of you.  I want to know
more about your relationship with her.

I recently met a man with SCI.  He is a quadraplegic.

We met online (a singles website) and he took my breath away
from day one.  After a few emails and a phone conversation, he
sent an email explaining his situation to me. Once upon a time,
he played sports and lived a "normal" life.  When he was 16, he
had a diving accident and broke his neck. I had no idea up until
that email that he was in a wheelchair.  He wanted me to know
him for who he is and not be judged by his chair.

His charming personality and good looks kept me interested and
we agreed to meet at a restaurant as he is able to drive his own
van.  When we met, I was instantly drawn to him. I couldn't stop
thinking how good looking he was.  We both felt very
comfortable and we picked up our conversation with ease.  

This man has changed my life in such a way that I can't explain.  
He is an incredibly beautiful and amazing man.  I don't know
what lies ahead for us but I do know that I care about him
deeply.  I can't get him off my mind.

Please share your experience with me.  Tell me how you feel.  
Tell me about your girlfriend.  Tell me how the two of you
manage your lives together.

I feel very blessed to have met this wonderful man. I truly
believe that God has somehow played a part in our introduction.  
My eyes have been opened and my heart has never felt touched
more than now.

Thank You in advance for your response,
Sincerely,
Glori

Answer
Hi Glori,
Thanks so much for your question.

I am glad you are able to look past his disability. Sadly, for many people, that's not possible.

My girlfriend is a very unique and beautiful young woman. She is not just beautiful on the outside but she has an inner beauty that no words can justly describe. To say she puts up with me is an understatement. God has truly blessed me with her and I can't thank Him enough.

One thing that you have going for you is that this gentlemen can go places with you and he can take care of himself. I am paralyzed from my shoulders down. I have to have most everything done for me and I know it's hard for my girlfriend.

I think what bothers me the most is that I want to do so much for her and I can't and that really hurts deep inside me. She sometimes gets after me when I don't tell her I need something. She'll say, "You should've told me" or "Next time, tell me." I know I should've said something but I feel like I'm always asking and sometimes I just want give her break.

We dated while in high school and wanted to get married but her family moved out of state. After I graduated, I went to see her but after some misunderstandings communication broke down. About a year later, I had my accident in 1977. Around 1980, I started searching for her. In 1996, I started using the internet but it wasn't until 2001 that I finally found her.

She has 2 beautiful daughters that I love and cherish and they think of me as a 2nd dad. Ironically, when I first started looking for her in '80, I started having dreams about finding her. In the dream, I would be walking across a field and would see her standing with 2 girls. One girl, with long brown hair, would be standing next to her. On the other side, a few steps back, was a much taller girl with bright red. It turns out that one of her daughters has brown hair while the other daughter is taller with red hair. The strangest thing about this was that at the time I began having these dreams, she only had 1 daughter and she was just a year old.

For you, I would suggest you take it real slow. Get to know him and let him get to know you because, when all the initial excitement wears off, and it will, you have to know that it's true love and not the idea of finding someone new. The big problem with relationships today is that the foundation is physical. People quickly jump into a relationship without first getting to know each other, learning about their likes and dislikes.

Yes, many times, people come together because of a physical attraction. But, it's also that physical attraction that gets mistaken as love. Once that physical attraction wears off or becomes old, then the love becomes a decision and some don't want to make that decision. To have a successful relationship, you have to work at it. Don't let little things bother you. Talk it out. It's like sand, one little grain here and there isn't a problem but if you don't take care of it, it begins to pile up and then it's too heavy to move.

I hope this helps and if you want to know more or if you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me again anytime.

Thanks,
John McKinzie