Question
I have a new friend that when he was 18 he had a diving accident that broke his neck along with spinal cord injury.
I don't know the number. I don't feel close enough to ask him these questions. I am wondering what he is able to do and what he isn't. I know that this is different with each person. He is in a wheel chair, he uses his arms and hands. His hands seem to be limited. He carries a bag with him that has a straw he drinks from. To be honest, I am attracted to him but wonder is he able to be in a relationship or to be intimate? I know this is hard for one to know without detail but with your experience I thought you might have an idea. Or you could give me some pointers on how to communicate with him about his accident and injury or if maybe it is only my business when and if he wants to talk about it. Thank you for your time. I think it is awesome for you to be able to help people with similar circumstances of yours.
Take care, Karen

Answer
Hi Karen-
Glad you wrote in- I'll try to give you some advice, deal?

As for your friend, he is certainly abe to be in a relationship (physical stuff doesn't hinder that). If you mean the sex part of the relationship, that's possible too. Used to be it required an injection (which was not a real easy thing to discuss) but these days many guys are able to simply take a Viagra and participate (enthusiastically...)

From what I've seen with diving injuries, and your description, I'd be willing to bet he's injured in the c6 area.

As for finding out particulars, talking to him is the best bet. Get to know him as a person some, then when you have a little time just say Can I ask you about your injury? Give him the chance to leave it until later- no pressure- but i've never had someone who refused when asked this way. "We" know other people are curious, and sometimes it's just as irritating when you don't ask....

To be involved with someone in a chair (as with any of the various junk people get stuck with- the chair is just more visible) you have to be willing to adapt, open to different ways of doing things. ha- this is true for most things in life, huh?

Hope that helps some, and please write in again if you have further questions
good luck
leslie