Question
I don't know if this is in your field but there is no question section for
handicapped sex. I have spina bifida so I am paralyzed from roughly my
nipples down with some limited arm movement. Currently, I am in a
homosexual relationship with one of my best friends. He can pleasure me
where I can feel, but I don't think that I am pleasuring him well because there
is not much that I can do for him besides head, bad hand jobs and dildos, all
of which I do not do very well.
  people have asked why I just won't let him go down on me, but we've tried
and its always been extremely painful for me. all my weight seems to go on
my neck and shoulders, I think mostly from our height difference (me at 4'6"
and him at 6 feet). i've already asked someone in the gay section, but he did
not know much about physical disabilities. any suggestions, advice or places
where i can find further information would be helpful and appreciated.
Thanks  

Answer
I'm sorry, but this is outside my expertise. I know there are therapists who specialize in sexual matters for people with disabilities, but I don't even know how to contact them.

I think I'd aim for some sort of vibrating wand or dildo that has been modified for you to grip and use more easily. Perhaps some sort of vibrating gloves if such a thing is available.