Question
Yeah I know, depression isn't a physical disability, hell I'm not even sure it's a real disability at all. The main thing I'm asking is this, right now I'm working but managing is very hard, I'm constantly worried and sometimes I just seem totally out of things. I have no friends (except those I've met online) and no degree (though I'd like one). I'm been working consistantly for 2 years but I feel it may partly be due to this job not requiring alot of interaction with people. You see I have 0 social skills, I have no girlfriend and I'm 26! Infact it's even worse than that, I've never had a girlfriend!

You see alot of my current strength comes from this job, I'm afraid if I loose it I'll become unable to work (since alot of jobs require social skills). This place is going to close very soon and they'll transfer me, but I'll be required to interact personally with people and stuff like that, which honestly is very hard when you're depressed. I'm on medicine right now (Zoloft 100 MG) and it helps me not to be suicidal, but sometimes I think about not existing.

So my main question is really if I'm not able to work because I just get to depressed and suicidal, well what'll happen to me :( I don't wanna go back to a psychiatric clinic, but I don't know if I could handle interacting with all these people everyday when I have no social life outside of work. That alone would make me depressed and miserable. I know I wouldn't make much on disability but I also am concerned that if I did go on it then I'd really have no chance for a social life! I mean if I can't work later then what in the world can I do?! I certainly don't just wanna exist.

Grr, you see my frustrations here, I'm seeing a therapist and stuff but I still have no friends. Yeah I could get myself real depressed.

Do you think mental problems or depression can even really be considered a disability, I mean it's kinda ridiculious to me. I heard you can get support for going back to college but I don't understand how, and I would love to but I'm not sure I'm stable enough right now. Besides that usually if I wake up early my depression seems worse, it's kinda scary. My psychiatrist has been good, perhaps I'm beyond psychiatry ehh? So what do you think, and like just give me your opinions about things I can try before disability might become the only option, I'm not wanting to use it cuz it would make me depressed to be on it, lol

Answer
Hi Sam,

Well, Sam, the category is Living with Disabilities and depression would certainly fit in as a disability.  I figure that a disability is anything that keeps a person from living their life at its best.  For some people, that means a physical problem.  For others, it's a mental issue.  For some folks, it's a problem with their attitude about their life or their role in the world.

Reading your question, I was wondering if you could see how the work life that you have is actually a form of a social life.  It's requiring you to interact with at least a few people.  The new work environment can help you develop your social life.  Many people start friendships at work that become friendships outside of work.

Social skills develop like any other skill.  You have to practice.  Nobody starts out with great skills at anything.  We all had to learn to walk.  We all had to learn to talk, dress ourselves, feed ourselves, and all  the other skills that we now take for granted.  Athletes, musicians, writers, leaders in any field had to practice to get to their positions.

I can tell you from my own experience that depression can be overcome and that you can build social skills along with friendships.  You see, I am a quadriplegic which means that I broke my neck and I'm paralyzed from the shoulders down.  My arms can move but my fingers don't work.  Before my car accident, I was very physically active as a hiker, backpacker, bodybuilder, and martial artist.  So, it was really depressing to wake up and not be able to move anything at all for the first 3-4 months after the accident.  I thought about checking out too.  Who wouldn't?  But, I figured that I was still alive for some purpose.

I guess that is what changed things for me, Sam.  I believed that I was still here to do something even if I didn't know what it was.  So I started getting involved in some volunteer work.  That small step brought me together with people that had similar interests.  If you are with a small group who think the same about certain things, it makes it a lot easier to be social.  In my case, it made it easier for the people not to focus on my wheelchair.

The positive feedback that you can get from small groups will lead you to try bigger groups.  Having a positive outlook will draw more positive people to you when you're in the groups.  It's a lot easier to be around positive people than it is to be around negative people.  If you weren't already depressed, being around negative people will do it for you really fast.

Another thing that I would recommend that will help with your depression is exercise.  It is really important that you get some exercise at least three times a week.  It can be something is easy as going for a walk.  You don't have to run a marathon. Exercise has been shown in studies to help correct the neurochemicals that cause depression.  In addition, exercise releases endorphins, a group of "feel-good" chemicals in the body. Again, I can tell you this from personal experience because even now I do exercises at least three times a week with weights strapped onto my wrists.  It's really quite a boost for your body and mind.

I would also like to make a recommendation that you speak with your physician about your medication.  Although you say in your letter that the medication is helping, you also say that sometimes you still have suicidal thoughts.  There have been warnings about some antidepressants and suicidal products so you should ask your doctor if your medication needs to be adjusted or changed to something different that will help you better.  You might also want to ask him about the disability issue.  Your physician will know the severity of your depression much better than I so you will get a better picture of the disability or unemployability from him/her. Things like that vary from person to person as well as from state to state.

I thank you for your questions, Sam.  I hope that my answers have given you some help.