Question
I am a nineteen year old and I have an Uncle named Norman who has Down syndrome. For the past forty years he has lived with his mother (my Grandmother).  When my Grandmother died, Norman moved in with his sister Roxanne. I always thought that my Aunt Roxanne was a wonderful person. She is wealthy and successful and runs her own business. Until my Uncle Norman moved in with her, she lived alone as a single woman. She never married nor had children.

Recently I notice something 損eculiar?about her relationship with her brother Norman that concerns me greatly. Whenever I visit my Aunt Roxanne, I抳e noticed that she always touches Norman in a very affectionate way and makes rather crude sexual jokes. I find her behavior both ironic and disturbing since she never behaved like this before. She also flirts with him and calls him her 揃ig Papa.?When I asked her why she called her brother this, she said, 揵ecause he抯 a tall guy and looks like our Papa.?

I抳e tried to ignore this behavior for many months, but whenever I see my Aunt and Norman together, I get the feeling that something is wrong. I really don抰 know what to do or say, and feel guilty about accusing my Aunt of having a sexual relationship with her disabled brother. What should I do? I抦 really afraid of bring this out into the open ?especially is my accusation prove to be false.

Need Advice,

Ann

Answer
WOW.....this one is tough! If you do accuse and you are wrong you will most likely get attitude from your aunt and/or anyone else involved. However, your aunts behavior is inappropriate in general. Pet names for people with dualities and treating them like a puppy doesn't allow the individual to grow. I would guess that your uncle is being followed by a state or private group that services the developmentally disabled. It might be a good idea to contact the social worker that handles the case to voice your concerns. I would tell the social worker about the sexual comments since that all you have witnessed. Have you said anything to your aunt about the comments? That may be your first step.

Hope this helps.