Question
I had my first hip surgery Nov 28 2007 and the second hip done Feb 2008.  Still have alot of muscle pain and problems with recovery.  I do daily exercises that PT has given me but want to do more to help my recovery process.  I am 63, female and know that I will not return to my prior job,  but what can I do to stay productive and still live a normal life with husband etc.  Have the limited rules of no more than 90 degree bending, no stooping and kneeling,  but how can I still lead a productive life not necessitating that my husband has to do alot of the chores.  I used to love to do yard work, gardening etc. but find that my reacher and other devices don't help at all.  Any chance that I can get help in living a more normal life style in the years to come.  Thanks.

Answer
Kathie

I'm a bit younger than you, but not by much.  I'm 50.  I am still working, but my life is changing because my children have both left the house for school within the past week.  So I'm now an empty nester.  I know that my situation is not one which affects me physically, but emotionally I am very effected because, as you, my life is not the same.

I have been told that the best thing to do in order to adapt to the change is to "find a new normal".  It's sort of like when we were younger and we tried to find a new radio station.  There was only a dial to use.  Today we have the scanner to find new stations but back a few years ago, you only had dial.  You'd move the dial and hear static, but if you turned the dial just a tiny bit, you'd get the station clearer.  That's what we have to do when our life changes, turn the dial and find a new station, but do it slowly.

We have to make small changes.  I was told to just make one small   changes at a time until you find a new normal.  I know that we define ourselves through our jobs and that's a big hurdle you will have to get over.  I also feel that it might be you are feeling more pain because you are adjusting to your new life emotionally and the anxiety you feel may be adding to your pain. When we are unhappy, we feel more pain.  That's a proven fact.

You might want to connect with places you can volunteer in.  Help out at a nursery school as a reader to the kids, join a book club (that's what I am looking into doing now), look at agencies that you can help by volunteering.  At 63, you are still young enough to maybe get a part time job.  

You might also look into counseling.  I see a wonderful counselor who is helping me readjust too.  People are so quick to see a doctor when they hurt physically, but there is a big stigma when people hurt emotionally and seek help.  There should not be.  Please look into counseling, it does help.

Your issues are more of an emotional nature (I'm guessing), and now that you are starting to really recover, you have to try and find "the new radio station".  

I hope I have addressed your question.

Sharon