Lower back pain doesn't have to destroy intimacy. Try these steps to overcome back pain symptoms and reclaim your sex life.

Back pain, especially lower back pain, makes most movement difficult and some impossible. Back pain symptoms can affect everything from daily living tasks to your job to intimacy.

"Back pain can interfere with a healthy sex life and lead to relationship problems," says Tae M. Shin, MD, a board-certified orthopedic spine surgeon at St. Vincent's Medical Center in Los Angeles. At first, chronic lower back pain affects how you function physically. Prolonged pain can also lead to emotional problems such as depression, frustration, and anger, Dr. Shin adds. Because of these feelings you might start to avoid physical contact and isolate yourself, actions that can further drag you down emotionally.

Resist giving into these effects of back pain and take steps to overcome the challenges keeping you and your partner from enjoying sex, including:

• Communicate, communicate, communicate. "Since pain can be difficult to explain and at the same time difficult to understand, it is important to discuss the subject between partners," says Shin. "Communication will prevent tension and misunderstandings that may arise in the relationship."
• Relax and don't rush. Before beginning sexual activity and depending on the type of lower back pain you're experiencing, work on relaxing affected muscles, if appropriate. Simple ideas include a gentle massage, using a heating pad (or ice if that feels better), or taking a warm bath.
• Get comfortable by using pillows. "Lying flat on your bed puts 55 pounds of pressure on the spine," says Shin. "By simply putting a couple of pillows under the knees, the pressure is cut in half." You may also find relief with a pillow under your head or your lower back.
• Try different positions. In general the person with back pain should be the passive partner when it comes to sexual activity — if you have lower back pain, you might do better on your back. Others find success with both partners being on their sides. "Alternative positions for a woman include lying on her stomach with pillows under her chest or lying prone on the edge of the bed with legs dangling off the bed," says Shin.
• Consider a change in locale. For a romantic rendezvous, remember sex can be enjoyed in places other than a bed. Any firm surface can work — for example, try sitting in a chair or on a sofa.
• Talk to your doctor if your pain doesn't resolve. Most back pain issues are the result of inflammation around the spine and improve within two to six weeks. Pain can come from muscles, ligaments, joint capsules, or cartilage and causes can range from tissues being pulled, strained, stretched, or sprained. Small tears in the outer layer of an intervertebral disc can also cause pain. If the pain continues for longer than six weeks or if it's associated with pain in the legs, weakness, or trouble with bowel or bladder control, seek prompt medical evaluation.

Related: Sex and Chronic Conditions

Keep in mind that you may need to try different approaches to find one that works. Just as with exercising during physical therapy, certain sexual positions may hurt. While you naturally want to avoid anything that causes more pain, keep trying to find a good alternative. As Shin explains, "My recommendation for physical therapy is to leave out the particular painful routine, but continue the therapy. Similarly, it is beneficial both physically and emotionally to continue the sexual activity despite [experiencing] lower back problems." If you take a trial-and-error approach, he says, you're likely to find a position that's comfortable for you.