Living with a chronic illness is difficult, learn what you can do to help

The challenges posed by illness and pain are obvious to fellow chronic illness suffers but healthy people don’t know what these are. In fact, most are often misinformed about the daily battle faced by people with chronic pain diseases.

By understanding how pain and illness work, you can better grasp what chronically illness patients go through on a daily basis. Here are five facts you to need to understand to help loved ones who live with chronic illness and pain.

1 - Illness and Pain are Exhausting. Constantly fighting to regain our health and living with symptoms and pain is hard work. Sometimes, the need to be and act like healthy people is so strong that we push ourselves to do what our bodies reasonably cannot do. More often, however, we try to find a middle ground between managing our health and gently challenging our bodies so we don’t fall in the pattern of overexerting ourselves. But that requires constant accessing and adjusting and that, too, can be both physically and mentally tiring.

How you can help: You can start by checking your own patience. You cannot expect someone who is dealing with daily pain and illness to just get over what they are going through. A chronic illness sufferer may not help out as often or have to cancel plans at the last minute but you can help by not taking this personally. Think about how lucky you are that you are still physically able to still enjoy the things you love.

2 - Sleep is difficult. Feeling pain and being sick can make it hard to get to sleep and stay asleep. Disease symptoms and pain can wake us up in the middle of the night and sometimes, it is hard to fall back asleep. Many patients have to take medication to help them to fall asleep and stay asleep. And even when we do sleep, pain continues and causes our sleep to be restless.

How you can help. Be understanding if the chronically ill person needs to sit down, lie down, stay in bed or take medication right away. That person is not doing it to upset you; they are doing it because they have to and because it cannot be put off. Just remember, feeling pain or disease symptoms don’t require a set schedule.

3 - Emotional health takes a toll. Being exhausted, feeling sick and living with pain can be damaging to a person’s emotional health. Moreover, being sick makes difficult to feel self-sufficient and can result in feelings of helplessness and worthlessness. Most chronic illness sufferers blame themselves for the challenges presented by their diseases because they remember a time where they were able to fulfill daily obligations. They can also see being sick and in pain as a sign of weakness and the end result can be damaging to both physical and emotional health.

How you can help. Understand that chronic pain conditions result in reoccurring symptoms and pain. Chronically ill patients are trying to cope so respect that they are trying their best. When they say they feel sick or are in pain, believe them because they truly are. But understand that they are also trying to cope, feel happy and look normal. Pay attention to signs of pain such as mood swings, moaning, irritability, poor concentration and decreased activity. Be sympathetic and only intervene if absolutely necessary.

4 - Concentration can be difficult. Most of us living with chronic pain conditions fight hard to have normal lives. We try to go about our lives trying to ignore pain and symptoms but it is not always easy. Pain doesn’t give up regardless how hard you are trying to push it aside. You can try to work or focus on daily living but your pain will always be there like a small child seeking attention.

How you can help. Respect that a person dealing with pain and disease symptoms has physical limits. Being able to concentrate for ten minutes doesn’t mean they can concentrate for another ten. Moreover, just because they were able to focus on a project today doesn’t mean that they will be able to tomorrow. A person living with a chronic pain condition does not know how they are going to feel when they wake up in the morning or how their day will progress. One of the most frustrating things they deal with is having to take life as it comes, minute by minute or hour by hour. Further, this doesn’t just apply to concentrating and focusing. It also applies to walking, standing, sitting and being social and the person’s ability to be responsive is the best they have to offer.

5 - Moods are affected daily. Chronic pain conditions drain a person both physically and emotionally. People living with illness and pain don’t want to feel cranky or moody but their diseases are overwhelming and they are acting in response. They are not being irritable, grouchy and hard to be around for the fun of it. Feeling sick and being in pain makes it hard to think, enjoy life, and to consider your feelings.

How you can help. Don’t get upset if your loved one seems sensitive or cranky. Remember, it has nothing to do with you and more to do with how they are feeling. Chronic illness and pain are hard to understand unless you are dealing with them. Chronically ill patients go through a lot and illness and pain cause major havoc to one’s body and mind. Most of us are really trying to cope and live life to the best of our abilities and all we ask is that you accept us as we are.

To learn more on this topic:
Just Diagnosed (Again): 8 Tips to Cope with a Second Health Condition
Arthritis & Communication Part 2: Dealing with Unsupportive Friends & Family
My Chronic Illness Journey