See Part I of this series, to read about how you can work to improve communication with others about your disease.

Not everyone can – or will – step up and pitch in when their partner, friend or family member is facing a chronic condition like arthritis. As a person with chronic disease, you may come to the point where you can no longer tell yourself that person ‘”just needs time” or is “using tough love” to help motivate you. Lack of support is lack of support, plain and simple.

If you're living with arthritis and find yourself in such a situation, t’s important to take steps to care for yourself and seek out alternative forms of support.

Place your own self-care first.

Sure, these people may figure things out over time and be able to be a real team member on the road ahead. But in the absence of that, reach out for support where you can get it. Connect with friends and family members who can be there for you. This might mean getting a little support here, and a little support there, and piecing together what you need. Know whom you can call upon and for what.

Build up your support network with others who also live with arthritis. 

Nobody gets what you are going through more than they do. Consider local support groups if they are available in your area. And, of course, stay in touch with your friends here on Arthritis Connect!

Don’t let yourself be made to feel less than for having a medical diagnosis.

You are not lazy, or trying to get attention or somehow responsible for feeling the way that you do. In other words, don’t turn lack of support against yourself. Refuse to take on someone else’s negative attitude toward your condition, or to feel guilty for having a chronic condition.
Do what you can to deal with your own emotions and to build yourself up.
Have a safe place to talk about how you feel; you may want to consider talking to a mental health professional. For couples, a mental health professional may also be able to help you to help your spouse. Couples counseling might also be an option. 
*
Advice is adapted from a post on Arthritis Connect by Gary McClain, PhD, a licensed counselor and patient advocate.

Share your ideas for dealing with unsupportive friends and family in this discussion.*