Helping your loved ones understand your arthritis can bring you closer together.

When you have arthritis, it can be frustrating to try to explain to those close to you just what your condition is like. Arthritis of any kind is largely an invisible illness - that is, you may be experiencing severe symptoms that limit your daily life, but you're like to hear that you "look fine." You may also encounter people who try to relate to your experience by sharing the time they sprained a wrist or hurt themselves playing rugby, assuring you they understand what you're going through.

This can be really frustrating. Finding ways to help others better understanding your challenges usually leads to more accommodation - whether it's your husband loading the dishwasher because it really hurts your joints or a neighbor helping tend your kids on the afternoons you're just too exhausted and in pain to do it.

Basic arthritis education

One good way to start the conversation with people you think are receptive is with some basic facts. The Arthritis Foundation has a list of arthritis myths and facts that can spark good conversations with people in your life. For example, the first myth is that arthritis consists only of minor aches and pains that people get as they age. On the contrary - as you probably know - arthritis is really a family of disorders that can impact people of all ages. Helping someone to understand that your arthritis pain isn't simply a few twinges when bad weather is coming on can help a lot. From there, you may wish to give your loved ones information on your own specific variety of arthritis.

Figure out what your loved ones can do

Once people you're close to understand what your condition is and how it affects your life in significant ways, they will probably want to help. However, not all help is created equal. While it may be kind for someone to bring you flowers, it might have been more useful for you if he or she had brought some dinner to warm up for a day when you're too ill to cook. When someone asks what he or she can do to help, make sure you have concrete suggestions. This can help your loved ones feel more useful, while you retain a sense of control even as you accept help that you may not have dreamed of asking for before you began to live with arthritis.

For more on relationships and arthritis:

Stop Arthritis From Killing Your Relationship
Chronic Communication at Home: Talking about Sex
You and Your Relationships: A Positive Perspective on Negative People