An optimistic attitude may help ease the physical pain of rheumatoid arthritis. Follow these steps for staying upbeat.

A diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis means that you’re dealing with pain for much of the time— and that can take an understandable toll on your emotional health. People with rheumatoid arthritis struggle with anxiety and depression.

But learning to regulate your mood can help ease your pain as well as your emotions. Here are some steps to help you stay upbeat.

• Deal with denial. “I grew up kind of bitter and in denial about my rheumatoid arthritis,” says Kelly Rouba, author of Juvenile Arthritis: The Ultimate Teen Guide, who was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis as a toddler. Rouba's not alone. “Many people want to think, ‘Why me?’ or ‘How do I get rid of this?,’ but in fact that’s impossible,” says Inna Khazan, PhD, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Boston. With rheumatoid arthritis, she says, this mentality does more harm than good. “It just causes more pain, and more struggle, unnecessarily. Once you stop fighting, it gets a little easier.”
• Accept without judgment. Dr. Khazan says that accepting without judgment is the key to a more productive life with rheumatoid arthritis. Rouba agrees, “I realized when I came to embrace it, I was healthier emotionally. It helps you deal with pain, just helps you cope better,” she says.
• Be optimistic. “In general, positive feelings are more helpful,” Khazan says, and this holds true for rheumatoid arthritis. “Blind optimism doesn’t get you anywhere, but it does help to be able to see the positive as well as the negative.”
• Acknowledge the negative, but focus on the positive. “It isn’t fair to be 28 years old and have the body of a 90-year-old. It’s easy to get frustrated and a little resentful because there is so much that you can’t do,” says Rouba. “But you have to find what you enjoy and not focus so much on what you might miss out on. Life has so many things to offer.”
• Stay active. Depression, pain, and rheumatoid arthritis are connected. Khazan works with her clients on staying active even in the face of depression, which saps your energy. “If you lie around waiting for the pain to go away, you lose flexibility and strength in your muscles. Then when you actually do have to go somewhere, the pain is that much worse,” Khazan says.
• Create a support network. This can include friends, family, even a therapist. It is important to accept that you may not be able to do everything for yourself and to know that people close to you want to help and will be there for you.
• Connect with others who have rheumatoid arthritis. “Having a support network or someone you can call is important,” Rouba says, “At first I didn’t even want to associate with the disease. But now I see that was silly because most of my best friends have rheumatoid arthritis or similar issues.”
• Educate friends and family about rheumatoid arthritis. Help educate those close to you about rheumatoid arthritis so that they understand what you are going through within your body. “The things we think are obvious are not always obvious to another person,” Rouba says.
• Encourage your family to accept your illness. Rouba says she sometimes gets frustrated with her father, who doesn’t always remember her physical limitations. But she tries to understand where he’s coming from. “It could be that he’s in denial himself,” she says. Help your loved ones come to terms with your rheumatoid arthritis.
• Speak out for people with rheumatoid arthritis. Rouba’s turning point came when she realized how little most people know about rheumatoid arthritis. She once did a presentation while in school and, seeing how surprised her classmates were, realized how important it is to create awareness about the disease.