Worried that RA might mess up your plans for the big day? With the right planning, your RA management will stay on track.

In the weeks leading up to her wedding, Mariah Leach had a few worries — not about her decision to marry, but about how she might feel on her wedding day because of rheumatoid arthritis.

Even with the best RA management, a rheumatoid arthritis flare can happen anytime and without warning. And with stress, in particular, being a trigger, living with rheumatoid arthritis on her wedding day could be an unwelcome challenge.

“I wanted to do everything I could to make myself feel as well as possible on my wedding day,” Leach said, adding that her RA management efforts paid off with happiness and excitement at the May 2011 event.

The 28-year-old bride allowed herself to dance, one of the many decisions that brides who are living with the chronic pain of rheumatoid arthritis have to weigh when planning their day, explained Elaine Parker, a special-needs wedding expert and author of Special Needs Weddings: A Guide for Persons with Visual, Hearing, or Mobility Challenges.

For Leach, the trade-off was knees so swollen on her honeymoon that her husband had to push her in a wheelchair through a museum they were visiting in Spain. Still, dancing was the right choice for her. “I’m totally happy with that decision,” she said.

7 RA Wedding Considerations

Other aspects of wedding planning that Parker advises brides living with rheumatoid arthritis to consider include:

The ring. Swollen knuckles may make a traditional wedding band impossible. An option is to wear the ring on a chain around your neck or on a brooch.

Hiring a consultant. Worrying about all the details of the wedding can be stressful, which can trigger a flare. If you need help finding a consultant, Parker recommends the Association of Bridal Consultants or the Association for Wedding Professionals International. Though Leach did not hire a consultant, she depended heavily on family and friends. “We used Google Docs to compile ideas — about the flowers, decorations, everything — and everyone contributed ideas in each category. Then I chose from those lists," she said. The groom, Austin Leach, added that his side of the family helped, and that all the guests knew about the rheumatoid arthritis and were supportive.

The venue. In a typical church wedding, there often are steps leading to the altar. An alternative, Parker said, is to be married in familiar surroundings, like a family home. She also recommends hotels because all facilities — changing rooms, restrooms, ceremony space, reception hall, and the honeymoon suite — usually are on the same floor. For Leach, the venue was under an oak tree at her in-laws’ cherry farm in Groveland, Calif. She and her bridesmaids arrived in a horse-drawn carriage to minimize walking. And while the possibility of rain is always stressful when planning an outdoor wedding, the barn turned out to be a perfect substitute for dining and dancing.

Clothing. Leach did not go with the Velcro gown closures Parker recommends, but she did have ties on her corset rather than a zipper. Ballet slippers or other soft-soled stretchy shoes slide on easily and can be decorated with sequins or other embellishments, Parker said.

Time of day. “There seems to be more pain and stiffness in the morning,” Parker said. Leach did choose an afternoon wedding, which also meant that she could relax in the morning, and she arranged for a hairdresser and makeup artist to come to her.

More on dancing. Parker often recommends circle dancing because there are more opportunities for the bride to slip away and sit down. Leach also made sure she had places to sit, and she limited her alcohol consumption so she could take medication during the dancing.

Scheduling. The bride and groom also gave themselves a few days to rest before heading off to their honeymoon in Spain. “Mariah was able to take it easy, and I was able to massage her back, shoulders, and neck while we sat and talked with everybody,” Austin said.

Noting the importance of breaks, Parker said she also advises a small wedding ceremony and, several hours later, a larger reception. “It’s already a long day with hair, makeup, getting dressed, and the ceremony,” Parker said. “[Brides] need to ask themselves whether they can go on another couple of hours without rest in between.”

PHOTO CREDIT: Patrick Pike